Anxiety Attack

A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος,phóbos, meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the feared stimulus. When the fear is beyond one's control, and if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made.

This is caused by what are called neutral, unconditioned, and conditioned stimuli, which trigger either conditioned or unconditioned responses. An example would be a person who was attacked by a dog (the unconditioned stimulus) would respond with an unconditioned response. When this happens, the unconditioned stimulus of them being attacked by the dog would become conditioned, and to this now conditioned stimulus, they would develop a conditioned response. If the occurrence had enough of an impact on this certain person then they would develop a fear of that dog, or in some cases, an irrational fear of all dogs.

---via Internet

Would you believe that my heart races, I get frighten and panicky whenever I hear the text message alert no 5?  Strange…I know right? I also feel the same whenever I call someone and hear the recorded prompt “the number you are calling is out of coverage area”. I get particularly gloomy in the month of January, I feel immobile or melancholic and most frighten every 10pm to 1am. These are all brought by an old experience.

My reaction whenever I encounter those gloomy feeling is constant rejection, fear, panic and hopelessness. For the first time I’m stating here all the things that can make me feel vulnerable. Amazing or Odd but we all get hunted by some ghost.

When we experienced something good or bad there’s always a thing to remind us of that certain experience could be a song, place, food, scent or even the time of the day can bring us back to those downhearted or pleasant feeling. Its good when it’s a positive experience but when it’s something bad we feel hunted all over again. We all have fears--- the things that make our heart stop, the tight grip we feel, the running of breath, the sweating of palms and the anxious feeling but along with all that is a hope that sooner or later it will be fine.

I’m treading a good road to deliverance but it’s not  easy, I have buried those fears long time ago but I still can’t seem to turn my back on the grave that has etch my name. I’ve been nursing some badly beaten wounds and I would like to say that it’s all better but some scabs here and there. I’m staying away from the things that would make me sick and right now I’m enjoying life as it is and trying hard to build new memories to eliminate all those melancholic swing. I shall be reborn and soon I’ll have message alert no. 5 set up on my phone once again (or maybe not since I’ve change my CP lol).