Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Wife: A bigamy case

“Everyone falls in love and people want to live with the one that they love. Everybody does children, grown-ups, married people, unmarried people and me and this bastard next to me. Even if the person I hate disappears, life doesn’t suddenly become beautiful.”~ Anaega Gyeolhonhaetda

One of the things that I do on my free time is watching Japanese or Korean movies, today I have watched “Anaega Gyeolhonhaetda”: My wife got married. The title strikes me not because I’m a wife who wants to get married but because I think I might want to consider marriage if my wind shifts into the right direction.

At first I expect a regular comedy romance story where the characters will fall in love and get married and then woman will fall in love with another man that will eventually lead to divorce before she gets married again, but slowly as each scene matured I started feeling bizarre as to what the woman wants.

The Story:

The scene in the subway started it all when the woman meets her former colleague and after a drinking reunion the two then realized that they have one thing in common, they love football. The girl offers him to have coffee at her house and everything just followed~ the sex and the relationship. The heroine’s character portrayed a cool, hardworking, intelligent and sexy lass but the downside to her positive traits are her carelessness attitude she refuse to be tied down, she come home late at night drunk, believe that life can be played strategically like a football game and she collects old books not because she reads them, she collects because she love the smell of it. The male protagonist’s character however can be safely classify as any regular guy, a man who falls in love with an exceptional woman and a chap who would do anything to tie the knot so he can pacify her outrageous girlfriend. His goal is to marry and have children with her but the story took its twist not long enough before their honeymoon ends when the woman declared that she wants to marry another guy, but wouldn’t give up their current relationship either.

As a viewer my thoughts are “that’s impossible, this can’t happen in real life, very illusory.” But the portrayals of every character’s emotion are unexpectedly realistic: betrayal, jealousy, helplessness, loneliness, understanding, hatred, paranoia, and desire to keep the relationship prevent me from hitting the stop button.

As the movie progress I was fascinated to see all those motion. Both of the characters holding on to one another, the man accepting her wife’s desire to marry another man, swallowing every pain he can afford to gulp in and the mental battle he has to suffer realizing their role reversal. The wife juggling her time between two men, thus giving them equally love and attention and bearing with both husbands emotional instability. The second husband (not so visible until the mid part) who I think is very subtle, quiet and understanding of his situation. The real drama came when the woman announced her pregnancy and now the question is: who could be the father of the baby?

To make the story short, the first husband took a DNA test to find out who the real father is and announced it during the kid’s birthday party displaying his stubborn competitiveness and jealousy, the woman on the other hand run away from both husbands disappointed and humiliated and the second leading husband was left behind lonely and seeking comfort from the first husband. Then after sometime both men received an invitation to live with the woman they love under her stipulation and both men out of love agreed and they live happily ever after.

Is it realistic or not? Am I not used to this kind of movie because I’m wedged with double standards? But then again putting myself under the first husband’s shoes and trying to feel it when let’s say my husband tells me “I want to marry another woman” would I take time to soak it all in and rationalize things or just dash my way to out leaving my husband behind for falling in love with another woman.

Our society, unfair as it may seem would only permit man’s infidelity, the heroine’s proposal is damned to be ridiculous and socially unacceptable, but why is it not as dreadful as when a husband confess to his wife that he is having an affair? Why does everyone expect the wife to stay and fix whatever there is to be fixed?

My point of view

First of all I don’t understand infidelity, I know that people do change and so as their preferences but why marry if you’re in doubt. Is it enough to say that you did your best but things didn’t work out, if that’s the case then why not just end it instead of giving yourself a hell on earth and why is it socially accepted for men to cheat on their wives? This didn’t take a lot of thinking from me~ because the women allow their men to commit the hideous mistake.

Putting myself in a plain housewife state 100 years ago, when the world is a male-oriented-culture, when females are not allowed to rule, study, work or vote, when we are not allowed to participate in any activity or organization, when woman were classified as a weak, when we play an insignificant role in the society but to raise a kid and to satisfy our husband. Wouldn’t I accept my husband’s apology after confession, when I am fully aware that I’ve no other place to go and won’t cut it through since I’m just a plain house wife? That’s how we got used to the idea that it’s natural for a man to seek relationship outside marriage.

The movie is an eye opener not because I consent bigamy or polygamy or polyandry but because it talks about equality. It’s an unending debatable topic and can come up with millions of rebuttals as to why a wife should not be given the same chance a husband can enjoy.

Just to make myself Clear

I am stating that I am against polygamy of any other form of outside intimate relationships in a married life. I am Pro-Monogamy. Unfortunately things can’t be perfect and you can try all you want or give it a thousand shot. When things don’t work out I dare you woman to stand up and believe that you can make it after a bad relationship. Love is not easy to lose but disrespect is tantamount to a dead relationship.

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