Friday, October 22, 2010

My Mind is perplexed, now that’s a Meme!

I don’t know what it means but every part of me is awesomely contradicting each part? You see, I have this very warm feeling inside so warm that I feel so cold. I also feel outlandishly happy- amazingly happy that I feel sad over this extreme happiness, is that happty-sad? I sigh over trivial things not the Negative-Annoying-Sigh but more of the Haay-what am I going to do?-Sigh, have you ever feel that?

I’m starting to believe that I'm experiencing olfactory hallucination because I can smell the same scent and I kept on following that scent to no avail but still fail to see where it’s coming from, all I know is I can smell sweet scents of musky flowers, it gives me shivers. I smile in a sudden swift not knowing why. My mood is as ever changing, and I feel like I'm riding a ship in a squall. But despite all of this shifts I still find it nice- NICE that’s all of I can think of, the best I can describe how I feel- I FEEL NICE.

I’m spacing out, I look at nothingness, and I swear, I can see that there is something in there, like it was there for a reason, a reason only I can understand. I wonder why I can see details, completeness and meaning amidst that emptiness, I'm seeing it like an abstract piece of art waiting to be scrutinize. WHAT THE F IS THAT?

Lately I’ve been listening to sad music, ok! Call that emo (whatever) but I’m rather confuse because I smile with every line...tch! get this: “ ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, it’s not warm when she’s away, ain’t know sunshine when she’s gone, she’s always gone too long anytime she goes away…” what is there to smile about, tell me? But hey! look at me grinning like a fool! And I blame my brother for posting Maxwell’s new song “Pretty Wings” at his FB wall, now I smirk like a dupe listening to it for the Nth time and banging my head in an RnB motion. Maxwell is so amazing, how he can sing a sad song and makes me feel otherwise. Genius!

Have you ever had this feeling like... umm... when you feel like eating your favorite candy and yet you feel so guilty because someone wants it more than you do? So what do you do? Hahaha! You look at that person with an irritating but bewildered look, harhar! but still refuse to give up on your candy so you sat there quietly and just leave it like that, then walk away. Duh! of course I won’t give that person my candy, but I won’t eat my candy in front of that person either. I’m not going to watch that sad looking face and I’m not going to let that person watch my victorious chew as I take pleasure in each bite. LOLS! I’m not your sadistic nor masochistic kinda’ girl but sometimes, just sometimes I find it exciting *rolling my eyes in delight*….hahaha my heart is such a meme and it‘s working dumb today…I feel so confused.

~Away from me to see clearly, the way that love can be when you are not with me...



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