Seasonal Blues- Writers Block

Lately I've been having this trouble with my self, I can’t get my head straight thus having this writers block. I wonder what’s going on... I've lost my vigor for taking photos, I feel lazy going out, no trips out of town, I've cut down my budget for shopping so I've nothing new to get excited about. I listened to all sorts of music and I have a lot of things going through my mind trying to figure out how to put in words all these emotions that I have when listening to certain music from different Indie artists/bands---but can’t put in the words to make a good review. I feel that it’s such a waste to write something when my head is clouded with confusion and question; I know I wouldn't be able to give justice when my head is hanging empty.

Daraitan: Open your Eyes!

Summer 2011 is indeed my busiest summer ever. I have gone to the beach, saw some magnificent falls, climbed a beautiful mountain and was finally was able to trek a river. I have to say that once I completed those four journeys there is no stopping. I still have to continue for this growing passion is getting big and I have to swim more seas, climb more mountains, search for more falls and trail on more river.

Daraitan is an easy destination for those who long for natures love, easy access and less strenuous (just don’t count the rock climb/descend). It only took us an hour to reach our destination (haha). Well, they told us (for newbies) sometimes it takes about 2 hours or more before reaching the campsite. Maybe we’re not so new anymore. Maybe that trek had baptized us. Now I’m aiming for a major hike that will touch all the four elements.  

More! More! Stories!

Anxiety Attack

A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος,phóbos, meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the feared stimulus. When the fear is beyond one's control, and if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made.

Track 11

Today I’m listening to track 11 of which artist/band/album? ---that’s a secret that I have to keep. Right now that song represents my current situation and amazingly answers my questions…from the line “made me realize what I could not see”, indeed I have seen.

After taking so much time on someone who refuses to listen but insist on talking even if her world is falling apart and her end is about to come. I realized that the reason why she’s crumbling down is her resistance to change and denial of reality.

You won’t always get my answer- coz I don’t have em!

It’s funny how people always laugh when I give them the stupidest answer to their most normal question. Ok let me replace that: I always give the lamest, stupidest, sarcastic answer to their questions and they still laugh. You can try and engage a conversation with me in my most normal state and all you’ll get from me are stupid nonsense. I don’t carry all the answers for you, my disk has a limit in capacity. But I'll always say (whenever I have a chance) never be afraid to ask and so they always ask (hehehe). Very well, they know how to follow instructions.

New Year’s resolution—is the only solution!

Cliché! Cliché! People will always promise the things that they will do and will not each time they welcome another year; I’ve done that too many times. When I was about 9 yrs old my little self have come to learn the meaning of New Year’s resolution. Based on what I’ve understand it’s something you made up to sound cool, nice and pretend that you’re some sort of goody two shoes or trying to act like one of the norms (because everyone’s vowing their resolutions and so you join the dumdumb), but in reality it’s something you realized and hope to change but always fail, because in reality that’s just your imagination run riot, in the end you feel bad after assessing all your failures! Yeah I’m giving you the liberty of pitying my NYR meaning lols!

BUT! But! But! I’m going to change my style; I Levz (last name) will try to believe in the spirit of New Year’s Resolution and will try work hard to reach my set goals for the year 2011 by giving myself a more realistic option:

Lessons of 2010

One thing that I’ve learn this year is that the only thing that is constant is change, we change a lot, people change may it be for better or for worst—they change. You can’t be too complacent, you can’t be too trusting, and you can’t be too assumptive. You should put value in yourself and believe in your heart. And amidst all those changes I have learned to look at those who are still standing still, those who showed loyalty. All in all this year was not bad.

My Heart is Singing

Merry Christmas everyone--- Of course, I’m singing my heart out at this blog…I don’t know but something's making me smile today. Not too happy but the fact that I know that someone out there is spreading some magic it’s never too late to have a merry day.

One thing I’ve learn from all the weddings that I have attended this year, not only those I have partake in, but each and every girl I know who had their wedding this year taught me that patience is important.

YAY! YAH! HAH! Nervously Anxious!

Pffft! Sigh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I’m going nuts! Tomorrow I need to be fast! I’m getting agitated, nervous, disturb, troubled, worried, jumpy, panicky, tense, uneasy that’s all the adjective I can think of to describe how I feel for tomorrow! Dang! I can’t say why but I’ll be posting the reason for my highly eager state tomorrow if I succeed! please don’t make me fail! I got one clue though….

RAT RACE BABY!!!

I have plans, my dangerous mind is playing. I know myself very well when it comes to planning and putting things into action, I know I can make it. I’m very competitive and cognitive recognition is exceedingly outstanding. I can do things once I put my heart into it, I should know that, I’ve done it a thousand times! Waaaaaaaaahahaha I’m trying to motivate myself real bad…real real bad! Hahaha!

I don’t know but I really like you so I gotta have you…so tomorrow you will be mine!!!

Bwaaaaaahahahaha! *evil grin*

Wooooh LET’S GO LEVZ! FIGHT! AYT!

Mr. November you’re breaking the GIRL

This month is a little too hot to handle …ummm actually mid October my schedule has been packed in a sardine can and I can’t barely move my fin I’ve no space. Literally running from one place to another, no sleep and tired so a groupie of pimples started camping on face particularly on my upper lip like some kind of hipsters in starbucks! That’s not hot!

So first day of November was spent lying on my bed because the day before that has spent my human form going to our first gown fitting for Vanity’s wedding at the groom’s residence in Fairview, Bridal shower party planning which was spend like 5 hours in Starbucks in Timog and going to the cemetery after to pay respect to our gramps in San Juan! Not to mention my drop off at tiendesitas where my Family pick me up to go with them, by the time I went home to Cainta at 1am I was seriously, deliriously crawling to my bed.

So all for the love of self preservation and exquisiteness I confined myself in the bed for first week of November and the result was amazing the groupie of pimples are almost gone, dark circles around my eyes are almost non visible and I’m becoming more relax than exhausted.

Now predicting my November schedule is driving me nuts, I have two bridal Shower to take care of, the first one that is Vanity’s party will be held in Victoria court and I’m so lucky to have good friends who assist us in making the event possible without me getting panicky and so as the Bride. The second Bridal shower for Kaye will be held in Holiday Inn and with a little help from our friends we were able to finalize the details of the event as well. Our home will be welcoming baby “Angelo” to come out late November to early December so that’s another thing to look forward to. And we also have to schedule a baby shower for my sister in law. And what else do I have on my plate aside from those hmmm…. let me think….Oh! Our Dog Yukisan a toy poodle is with us now and hell yeah she’s a hottie! ^^

I have to run a lot of errands this month, going to places to get props and souvenirs for the Bridal Showers, planning the program, contacting the person for each venue and etc. but I get help that’s the nicest part ^^.

So Mr. Great November! Let’s break it or make it but don’t break your Girl! Don’t let me come undone! hahaha!

As wreck as you think you are not!

Hahaha! I can’t help but laugh silently whenever I see people who are so darn hypocrite trying to live a lavida loca life huh?! Dang I feel bad for them and they have no way to go but out! Oh and those few who believe and goes with their “I-see-it-is- real”~ ooops it’s a REEL!

It’s frustrating me because I don’t see their real heart or maybe that’s not it. It’s because I know exactly who they are and what’s in their heart and I feel sorry to those who surrounds them and think that they are seeing that person’s legitimacy or content! Errrrr! WRONG! It’s a now you see and darn! you see more…more…more! More of the slicker skin!

It’s a NO, not your fairytale Baby! Fairies doesn’t exist, nor prince charming, no unicorns and what rainbow bubbles? Tsk! Wake up baby before I burst your bubbles!

Freaky Thursday: Stairs Combat Exhibition!^^

My daily routine when I wake up~ first is to check on whom texted me while I was sleeping. I won’t read the messages yet but fix my coffee and lit my cig then open the radio and then take a bath. The only time I’ll be reading and replying to those messages is after taking a bath.

This morning after getting out of the bathroom I grab my phone and started reading messages while walking up the stairs! BIG MISTAKE! Both of my hands are on my phone as I was reading and replying to text messages and I slip face first! Everything was fast; I can see that it’s either my nose or my lips that will be landing on the edge of the steps, so I have to think quickly! I tilt my head and I landed on my chin.

I was shock and shaking, everyone was still sleeping, thoughts are running through my head... what if I hit it bad and die in that instance no one would be there to help me. I scream and cry, teehee! I cried! Hahahaha! My mom heard my scream and panicked, running, shouting my name and asking what happened. When I stood up I grab my face, *BS* my chin was swelling and damn how it hurts!

Stupidity is inevitable, this can happen to anyone we just have to experience first to be careful next time! Lols!

Be safe everyone! ^^

How Bizarre~ September!

Things aren't sailing the way I wanted it to be, but this September I expect my winds to shift into a different direction. And just when I thought that everything is at mess--- tadah! A savior scooped me out of the puddle of mud! And I skip and hop and hum!

Technically I should not be greeting everyone a Merry Christmas, it’s too early for merry greetings but since I’m in the mood ~~~Merry Christmas ^^

August was a burden on the later part and I was annoyed by some people especially with the one who send me that nasty email…Hahaha! I had written my two cents about that issues but it’s something that I should not talk about when I’m feeling a little gorgeous. But I still wanna put some excerpts of what I have written. Here it goes:

Thing are really getting annoyingly out of hand and I’m on the verge of frying that man! Yeah, I’m pissed off the fact that those kids don’t know what the heck they are talking about made me cringe in anger. I would never and doesn’t have any intention of destroying their relationship, the fact that those tweets are under my accounts and no name was mentioned clearly states that I won’t meddle in their issues and those are mine if anyone would react then I shall say you are guilty as charge. Unfortunately, as he effin claim that he is not lurking in my life ~isn’t true, the fact that he send me those nasty email in conjunction to what I have tweet and accused me of prowling in his life is an effin lie because he wouldn’t react if he was not silently reading my tweets and this blog at the comfort of his own friggin time! Aha! You are reading my blog! Hohoho! Caught you! Sneaky sneaky!

You! on the other hand, would understand when you grow up that these things are too complicated to handle and would hope it won’t happen to you! I’m sure when the right time comes you would thank me for being this straight. Are you ready to handle the consequences of your action? Are you ready to get involve in a difficult situation that would require emotional and legalities not to mention facing the truth that we are in? Are you ready to let everyone including your Fam (if you are that bad serious abt it) know the truth about your relationship without losing their trust, humiliating or hurting them? Those are the questions that you should be asking yourself because no matter how you deny the fact we cannot run away! Yes WE! Hehehe I’m part of it so lets partey like it’s hot!

I for a fact don’t want to get involve with that person in any form of relationship. He put me in a great deal of humiliation and destroyed what I have worked hard to achieve and I would never forgive him on that matter. The fact that he is so selfish, stubborn and inconsiderate of mine and the little boy’s situation is unacceptable and I would never pay the respect that he is claiming to earn. You mister doesn’t deserve any reverence in any form. And I have never loathed anyone in my years of existence and you will always remind me of that feeling, no matter how I resist anger. And I (in God’s time) will commit myself again, but until that right time comes I won’t involve anyone at my mess because I believe in K-A-R-M-A! *Chameleon, they come and go wooh-ooh!*

The end.

**I might scrub this out after 3 days or so, I don’t want to taint my space. I know--- I said it’s just an excerpt but 'twas long believe me when I say that I have cut it to make it short. I think I have written like 2000 words for that issue alone! Hahahaha!

September is giving me a good vibes. IDK, but I smell scents of lilies and pine trees it gives me a good feeling. My mood is perfect and before I knew it I’ll be hearing Christmas carols plus the weather is getting breezy. I’m getting the Christmas jitters. So welcome Ber-months!

Oh and for my playlist, I’ve been listening to Bice *pronounce as bee-che* she’s a Japanese singer/songwriter, she composed several anime soundtrack like Mahoraba~ Heartful days, Kirarin Revolution and Kimi wa petto (Japanese Manga Adaptation). Unfortunately she died of heart attack last July 26, 2010, she’s just 38 years of age. She’s a genius songwriter and according to her last blog she was supposed to release a song or collaborate for an upcoming anime. I specially love her songs Cloudy Sky, Like Someone in love, Akubi, Tsusunde Ageru, and An apple a day. Her song Like Someone in Love and Cloudy Sky is constantly playing on my list. I’m thinking of cutting my bangs in full to show my heartfelt tribute to her ^^ Rest in Peace Bice. Kanpai anata no jinsei ni!

Anyways, here’s a preview of what I did on the first day of September, I’ll be writing about the place and the food on a different account. This was at Chungkiwa my favorite Korean Restaurant in Makati, I’ve been there a couple of times so I think they deserve some commendation ^^jalmugutseumnida! Kamsahamnida!^^

Welcome September! Give me some good clouds ^^v

Hey you SELF, what’s up?

I've been busy going around my Technicolor life. Here are some of them in photos:

There’s a new craze in town, it’s the SCRAMBLE baby! I wasn’t really sure about it at first because I remember how I was deprived by my mother to eat those yummy pink concoctions when I was a kid. But WTH I’m old enough to decide for myself, hehehe I can now eat those hepatitis mix without being scold and beside it’s being sold in the mall so I assume it went through a food screening process and certification.

I’m a cat. I eat rice in a can, meow! This is lunch Paella in can. I find it weird at first because all I can think of when I saw Roland eating them is “Friskies” *Cat Food* lols but one time I was really craving for rice and I can’t find any at Ministop and I can’t order take-outs so I settled with Paella in can, not a bad idea, although it doesn’t taste as good as the real Paella and little pricey for 39 pesos but good enough to fill my tummy.

I’m a Japanese and Korean food lover, actually I also lurpe Thai and other Asian cuisine and as much as I would hate to admit I lurpe eating and I enjoy food. Taken at Kaya! I had (again) Dolsot Bibimbap and I'm not really that satisfy with how they prepare my food, quite pricey and not as authentic as those restos in Makati. But I lurpe their Kimchi and Myulchi bokkeum, unfortunately you have to pay for each side dish, tsk that's not fair considering how small their serving is hmmm....I've learned my lesson.

Ramen or Ranyum (as how they call it in Korea) is one of my comfort food. I love this Nong Shim Shin Raymun Spicy Mushroom; I love how it tastes when it’s a little cold. I usually buy at few packs for my msg-cravings supply and I also love the Spicy kimchi ranyum and wash it down with oolong tea, oh man!

This was taken a few weeks ago when my brother and I went for a little shopping, actually he was the one who went on shopping and I was just a by stander, hehehe.

Trying out clothes for myself and I was also assigned to choose a dress for Jess ( Bro's GF) and try em. We went from one store after another. I enjoy having him around, you see, he is not the typical guy who would glare at you when you enter a boutique and would rather wait outside, he’s the type who would be kind to accompany you and even check if the clothes suits your style or not. Clap clap to my brother!

We got that bohemian inspired dress for Jess and I got a navy inspired dress and a chic of the edge Japanese inspired dress that I wasn’t able to take photos because I was so excited fitting them. But I got to try out the mannequin’s hair! Hohoho!

Paper Crane Folding 101. I don’t know what has gotten into me but maybe because I’m a Joongbo Fan, yes I am and i love them both hehehe! I said why not study how to fold one! I remember elementary days when kids are showing off their skills in origami folding and I was a lazy-oh-not-so-interested but now I know how to fold one with the help of (of course) Internet!!! Hehehehe!

Gracey’s Birthday Treat at Gilligans. We gave her some cupcake treats and a little cake so she can blow her wish! =) Go get a Boyfriend! oh and it's on process...bwaaaahahaha!

Wacky got a little under the weather. I rushed him to medical city because his fever won’t subside. He was absent in school for 3 days and I was a little panicky because there’s a dengue outbreak in our village luckily it was just a simple flu. Really handsome despite the fact of being sick, he still manage to pose in a 39.4 temperature. His face is really charming. He always gets a second look from people and when he speaks, he speaks with wit. That's my Joaquin.

Lastly here’s a picture to represent my position in the email that I received few days ago! Cover your eyes to feel no pang of guilt, hate or whatsoever. And eat Fruits it will help you decrease your paranoia and increase your happy thoughts! Lols

Peace out!

Your 500 commento goes here!

My project 365 is running just fine and I’m pleased that I’m getting nice feedback from friends, not to mention all the push whenever I feel like giving up. I was flabbergasted when I saw more than 500 comments with just 70 pictures posted. Amazing right? I didn’t know that it will be a success, but that’s too early to say when I still have more than 200 days to go.

Keeping it interesting is a little bit hard. Of course I have to continually seek for something that will gain their attention, so in that case I have posted photos with family, friends and this was one particular picture who capture almost everyone attention and boom the project survive its first two months.

Anyways, here are the things that I might need for my 365 and the things that I want for this season.

• Rubber boots
• Beanie/ski cap the colorful ones
• Trench coat (the real thing)
• See thru umbrella
• White boyfriend’s long sleeves
• Cycler’s jeans
• Ankle pants color mustard
• Majorette/Marching band’s coats I don’t know how you call those jackets hahaha Beatles Jacket LOL
• Classic motor bike helmet with eye mask

I wish to take picture in the following place:

• Beach
• Plane, Ship or Big Bike
• Club (as in while clubbing)
• New resto in manila
• Some spots in valley view LOL
• Some areas in the office
• I hope to get a picture out of the country *wish*

I’m planning to do a little cosplay in the upcoming months but I’m still on the planning stage. Have all the days to do that with 295 left. But come what may, sometimes the most laziest shoot are the ones that are more interesting…I wonder why!?

The Wife: A bigamy case

“Everyone falls in love and people want to live with the one that they love. Everybody does children, grown-ups, married people, unmarried people and me and this bastard next to me. Even if the person I hate disappears, life doesn’t suddenly become beautiful.”~ Anaega Gyeolhonhaetda

One of the things that I do on my free time is watching Japanese or Korean movies, today I have watched “Anaega Gyeolhonhaetda”: My wife got married. The title strikes me not because I’m a wife who wants to get married but because I think I might want to consider marriage if my wind shifts into the right direction.

At first I expect a regular comedy romance story where the characters will fall in love and get married and then woman will fall in love with another man that will eventually lead to divorce before she gets married again, but slowly as each scene matured I started feeling bizarre as to what the woman wants.

The Story:

The scene in the subway started it all when the woman meets her former colleague and after a drinking reunion the two then realized that they have one thing in common, they love football. The girl offers him to have coffee at her house and everything just followed~ the sex and the relationship. The heroine’s character portrayed a cool, hardworking, intelligent and sexy lass but the downside to her positive traits are her carelessness attitude she refuse to be tied down, she come home late at night drunk, believe that life can be played strategically like a football game and she collects old books not because she reads them, she collects because she love the smell of it. The male protagonist’s character however can be safely classify as any regular guy, a man who falls in love with an exceptional woman and a chap who would do anything to tie the knot so he can pacify her outrageous girlfriend. His goal is to marry and have children with her but the story took its twist not long enough before their honeymoon ends when the woman declared that she wants to marry another guy, but wouldn’t give up their current relationship either.

As a viewer my thoughts are “that’s impossible, this can’t happen in real life, very illusory.” But the portrayals of every character’s emotion are unexpectedly realistic: betrayal, jealousy, helplessness, loneliness, understanding, hatred, paranoia, and desire to keep the relationship prevent me from hitting the stop button.

As the movie progress I was fascinated to see all those motion. Both of the characters holding on to one another, the man accepting her wife’s desire to marry another man, swallowing every pain he can afford to gulp in and the mental battle he has to suffer realizing their role reversal. The wife juggling her time between two men, thus giving them equally love and attention and bearing with both husbands emotional instability. The second husband (not so visible until the mid part) who I think is very subtle, quiet and understanding of his situation. The real drama came when the woman announced her pregnancy and now the question is: who could be the father of the baby?

To make the story short, the first husband took a DNA test to find out who the real father is and announced it during the kid’s birthday party displaying his stubborn competitiveness and jealousy, the woman on the other hand run away from both husbands disappointed and humiliated and the second leading husband was left behind lonely and seeking comfort from the first husband. Then after sometime both men received an invitation to live with the woman they love under her stipulation and both men out of love agreed and they live happily ever after.

Is it realistic or not? Am I not used to this kind of movie because I’m wedged with double standards? But then again putting myself under the first husband’s shoes and trying to feel it when let’s say my husband tells me “I want to marry another woman” would I take time to soak it all in and rationalize things or just dash my way to out leaving my husband behind for falling in love with another woman.

Our society, unfair as it may seem would only permit man’s infidelity, the heroine’s proposal is damned to be ridiculous and socially unacceptable, but why is it not as dreadful as when a husband confess to his wife that he is having an affair? Why does everyone expect the wife to stay and fix whatever there is to be fixed?

My point of view

First of all I don’t understand infidelity, I know that people do change and so as their preferences but why marry if you’re in doubt. Is it enough to say that you did your best but things didn’t work out, if that’s the case then why not just end it instead of giving yourself a hell on earth and why is it socially accepted for men to cheat on their wives? This didn’t take a lot of thinking from me~ because the women allow their men to commit the hideous mistake.

Putting myself in a plain housewife state 100 years ago, when the world is a male-oriented-culture, when females are not allowed to rule, study, work or vote, when we are not allowed to participate in any activity or organization, when woman were classified as a weak, when we play an insignificant role in the society but to raise a kid and to satisfy our husband. Wouldn’t I accept my husband’s apology after confession, when I am fully aware that I’ve no other place to go and won’t cut it through since I’m just a plain house wife? That’s how we got used to the idea that it’s natural for a man to seek relationship outside marriage.

The movie is an eye opener not because I consent bigamy or polygamy or polyandry but because it talks about equality. It’s an unending debatable topic and can come up with millions of rebuttals as to why a wife should not be given the same chance a husband can enjoy.

Just to make myself Clear

I am stating that I am against polygamy of any other form of outside intimate relationships in a married life. I am Pro-Monogamy. Unfortunately things can’t be perfect and you can try all you want or give it a thousand shot. When things don’t work out I dare you woman to stand up and believe that you can make it after a bad relationship. Love is not easy to lose but disrespect is tantamount to a dead relationship.

Are we ready for the Rainy Daze? Ondoy Experience & Preparation

Are we all ready for the down pour or are we just enjoying it because finally the weather is starting to cool down again?

Personally I really like rainy days although last year’s Ondoy pawned me with fear and panic I’m still glad that everyone in my family and friends are safe. Now are we up for another Ondoy?

Recalling the tragedy~ I was stuck in the office tweeting more than 24 hours with no sleep and rest. I remember commanding everyone not to go home and to stay put until I give them a go signal to go home. No telephone lines in almost all residential, no cell phone signals, no electricity in some part of Manila, Rizal, Quezon City and other neighboring province. I was tired and anxious of what’s going to happen next and praying that the rain would stop.

One of my agents was crying because her daughter was stuck inside their house and climbing the 3^rd floor because the flood water has reached the 2^nd floor ceiling.She's not a catholic but we all prayed the rosary. I guess situation like this breaks the barrier between any religions the important thing is that we all have the same intention.

I was pacing back and forth because I can’t contact anyone in my family, although I know that they'll be safe from flood since our location is situated in a higher ground but then again all the roads that lead to our place was flooded and there’s no way they can get out if they run out of supplies. From time to time I would be able to communicate with my cousin via twitter who was also struggling to get an internet connection. And to my surprise they don’t know the gravity of the situation, maybe because they were all stuck in the house with no electricity and telephone connection.

I was all over the internet the whole 42 hours sleeping for only two hours. I was task to take care of our employee, good thing I have extra cash that day since I have to provide food and supplies for them. I was tired physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was having a hard time digesting all the information I’m getting through internet, people crying for help, dying, drowning, children out in the roof drench and cold, elders who can’t do anything because of their aged strength, government officials saying that they don’t have enough boat to rescue people, people twitting missing family members and friends, and people crying in distress. I was hurt and I was crying in the confinement of my office room.

After 3 days I was glad to be home. I was so tired that I passed out in my bed. I also feel so worn out from internet so I went on hiatus. I left twitter, plurk, facebook, tumblr and blogspot. The exhaustion was something that I haven’t felt in my entire life.

I’m wishing and hoping that our government is doing something in preparation for another Ondoy and I’m praying that it won’t happen again. But we all have to be prepared, now, below are the list of things that you should have in your emergency box/kit in case a storm like Ondoy comes again, make sure it’s handy and easy to carry.

Emergency box/ Storm Kit

• Candles and lighter (Butane)
• 3-5 days’ supply of Can goods, Crackers, noodles or dry food (depending on the size of the family)
• Can opener or Swiss Army Knife
• Drinking water
• Flash lights and batteries
• Transistor radio
• Petroleum Jelly (for blisters and incase a child gets shivery, rub it to their belly, underarm and neck it will make them feel warm)
• First aid kit: bandage, paracetamol, medicine for dehydration, cough and cold, rubbing alcohol, cotton balls and other medicine that may be needed for special cases
• Dry clothes and jackets
• Blankets umbrella and big plastic sheet
• All important document should be wrapped and vacuum in a plastic bag

You may add more depending on your needs but remember that an emergency kit should be easy to carry and not too heavy. It should be situated at the easiest place to find and family members should know where to locate it. Finally find a spot in your house where you feel safe just in case a flood arise, make an escape plan and list all the emergency numbers that you might need.

Oh! Hello JUNE and Hello There RAIN *hugs*

Let’s all be safe!

Bashful Smurfette!

Don’t be bashful ~ I remember being told when I refuse to get from the basket of goodies that was being offered to me during one of the conference I was in. Why does it hit me so much? Thinking of how it was said in a gentle manner makes me feel like getting one or two of those pastries. Although I know that I wouldn’t (couldn’t) eat since I was busy taking notes and listening profoundly to all the discussion.

Was I really a bashful Smurfette? Thinking about it and applying it to old scenarios in my life I think at some point I was.

• Scene 1 when being invited to a party: I remember being invited to a lot during my teen years and how many times I’ve turned down invitations, not unless they carry me or drag me out. I don’t mean special treatment I was just too shy to mingle.
• Scene 2 at a party: I would refuse to neither look at anyone in an eye to eye manner nor talk to anyone I don’t know. If they ask me, I just will give them a one liner and leave after. I feel so awkward and uncomfortable unless of course I’m intoxicated LOL (so I drink a lot! Haha!)
• Scene 3 at a party: I remember being offered to eat but refusing because I feel shy and I think it’s not cool.
• Scene 4 when I was in studying: I remember knowing the answers to the questions thrown by my professors but refusing to raise my hand no matter how sure I was, simply because I don’t want anyone’s attention to be drawn at me.
• Scene 5 when I was still playing in a band: I remember how I never talk to anyone other than my band mates during gigs and just giving people a nod, awkward unsure thanks and burying my head low whenever someone said that we/I did well because I was too timid to start a conversation or maybe intimidated.
• Scene 6 when I was at school: I remember being under a lot of stress when someone talks to me on the first day of class beads of sweat running at my back, can’t look at their eyes and my awkwardness are spilling over the place.

So was I bashful? I think I’m more like lacking self confidence or I’m the bearer of inferiority complex back then.

If you just met me yesterday I know that you’ll be giving a lot of bull crap saying that I’m a bad b*stard who talk nonsense or might be asking me if I’m a fictional writer trying to create a fictional character because you can’t see any of those personality coming from me…but in reality I was “before” that shy, timid, coy, bashful, insecure, introvert, unconfident, antisocial girl in the corner trying to blend within the walls of the room.

My present smurfette:
When you offer me something that I refuse to take and say "No, Thank you!" I really mean NO, it’s not because I’m being bashful or shy its just that I really don’t like it. Yeah I know sometimes or most of the times I’m so full of myself and my big mouth is uncontrollable, I laugh the loudest now, I eat like a pig unless I’m on a diet, I’m that sarcastic blunt person who can’t contain her thoughts and I randomly speak to strangers specially if I caught them looking at me, I just can’t help but ask them why they stare. And sometimes you don’t need to send any invitation I will just show my self in front of your door the moment you say you’ll have a party (don’t worry I don’t do gate crash, I still follow my manners and that’s too unfashionable hahaha) .

I don’t know when or how exactly I recovered those confidence but slowly I have gained it maybe because of my family, my group of friends, my elders who pushed me to lead all those youth organization, the books that I have read, the bands that I have joined and the number of times I stood in front of the stage, those amazing people I meet and inspired me to speak my mind and be the best just like them. Those people who never hold themselves from giving me my bad and good points. Or maybe because despite all of that timidity I am really competitive and losing is something that I can’t stand and lastly maybe because I’m a dreamer I know that keeping myself quiet will only give credit to those people who speak out my ideas.

Oh Lately it’s so Quiet

These past few days I’ve been very quiet, not because I have nothing to say or nothing to do it’s because I think I’ve lost my mojo somewhere along the way this month of May. I have a lot of Ideas running through my mind but I just can’t put it in writing…I’ve lost some creativity while this mind was processing a lot of scattered data waiting to be save and run, unfortunately I’ve been getting a lot of failure…hmmm…I wonder who stole my mojo?

Anyways, enough of that, my project 365 is on 8.21% completion….phewy! I have a long way to go! I don’t know what has gotten into me when I started that project hahaha!!! I never thought that this will be difficult. Imagine allotting at least 1-2 hours a day to do the shoot not to mention considering the time of the day. My 29^th day was a struggle since I took that photo at the last hour of the day the lighting condition sucks I have to use my flash which I hate because I usually encounter a lot of limitations in photo manipulation. Darn! that’s a lesson learned. I also have to think of a nice concept everyday on how I can portray whatever emotions or activities I had. Well contrary to all the difficulty I also feel fulfilled since I’ve manage to finish a month and I feel good whenever someone compliment my creation and I know that somehow I have influence some peps to do the project as well, those things gives me a little nice smile.

This month I’ve been pigging out a lot and it’s making me sick. I feel that I have gained a pound or two, my hormones are raging for food and sometimes it’s hard to resist especially when you see the food lining up in front of you. I’ve eaten 8 varieties of cake (recalling and counting how many cakes I have tasted for this month alone makes me feel nauseous *SIGH* now I regret). I’ve been cooking a lot lately for my Flintstone too and seeing them enjoying the food makes me want to sit down and dump food in my mouth which is again a big regret, not that I won’t be cooking for them anymore but this time I will poke my eyes, cover my ears and seal my mouth to avoid temptation.

Oh and my brother is here for a vacation and I really enjoy having him around. He’s someone that I can truly trust and talk with whatever silliness I have. He can ride on my crazy trip like my 365 he even took a couple of my shots. I missed him a lot and our Flintstone is really glad to have him around. He’ll be going back to SG this Friday and he hasn’t even had a drink with us since he’s torturing himself with everyday dental schedule. LOL. By the way that's Jess with him in that photo.

Hmmm what else….I’ve discovered the source of my mojo hahaha (just now) I realized that whenever I write something I "hassss" to listen to a particular music/song over and over again until I’m done writing bwaaaaaaaahaha! Right now I’m listening to “Oh lately it’s so quiet” by OK GO for the Nth time (I’ve lost count) hahaha. Well….inspirations are good right? it’s something that we should keep and play along with. And come to think of it the way I drive my guts out from my head is not as bad as I think (BIG emphasis in the I…in MY opinion ^^v)…at least it’s not harmful! Anyways just incase you guys are curious of the song here’s a couple of stanza (those that I like):

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place, you're not 'round every corner

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place, so darlin' if you’re not here haunting me I’m wondering...

Whose house, are you haunting tonight? Aw. Whose sheets you twist?

Aw. Whose face you kiss? Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

(Oh no) I dont think much about you anymore, you're not on every whisper, oh

(Oh no) I dont think much about you, but if you're not lurking behind every curtain I’m wondering...