I’m Swimming Moon: A losers' Journal for summer of 2010

First things First, Let me share this:

I love you Summer Sea, the scent of the morning ocean, the wind that blew in my face, the ebb and flow of the salty water in my shinny feet when I walk your sandy shore will always be in my heart (lol I’m trying to write a short story here JOKE). But I loath the idea of the sun kissing myskin (at least for this summer)…I refuse to be engulf with your torrid French kiss…it’s like kissing a teenage kiddo, first timer and salivating all over my face (LOL) I bet my mouth will swell…That’s how I will describe you summer of 2010 sweet and gross…sunscreen will lose its value and yes! no SPF is good enough for you.

So there, go swim lazy ass in thy inflatable giant pool with lots n’ lotsa balls…I has balls! Oh yes!

I am the perfect epitome of a Dead Kid if we talk about summer of 2010.

This is the most boring summer I ever had in my life. I didn’t prepare any summer activities unlike last year when I went around beach bumming in different places.

I’ve lost interest this summer simply because I can’t stand the heat. Manila can be mistaken as a brick oven waiting for Hansel and Gretel to be baked. And I refuse so I held the stick for the hungry witch.

Not only that I hate the heat, I’m also extremely lazy to think around planning and searching for a nice place to go. Last year I’ve planned to go to Anawagin for this year, but not anymore Although Anawagin is really a nice place to go (I know you don’t have to bash at how stupid I can be). I hate the fact that I have to ride a bus, then ride a trike, then ride a boat, then set up a tent, then cook my own meal, then get drunk at night with cheap vodka or rum, then pass out, then sleep with mosquitoes, then wake up with killer hangover and insect bites, then use the common bathroom, and then wash myself in the deep well pump, then panic because my time is almost up while folding the tent and I’m still hangover and the boat ride is waiting and those things that will make me more stress than relax.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a prima donna or no douchebag or something I just hate the idea of going to a vacay while stressing the whole time thinking what I should do next or have I done this and that or do we have supplies, food, drinks and other that will fancy me. Few years back I wouldn’t even think twice doing those things but I’m tired of my life in the metro so I would rather enjoy things that are less strenuous. Excuse me to those who enjoyed Anawagin this summer, maybe next year I will try and plan again.

Let’s me reminisce my last year’s beach get away at least that’s the best thing I can do for this loser’s summer:

Cagbalete Trip with my friends

Laiya Batangas with my Team:

Bintan Indonesia with my Family:

Sentosa Singapore


Amana Water Park

This years Activity:

BATAAN

Nothing Else.

I remember one thing that makes me say no to beach this year. A friend of mine just told me recently how dark my complexion was last year after returning from Singapore. He actually uses the word "DARKOIDS" and I was laughing outside and cursing him in my mind LOL. My complexion is still dark though I’m a natural Filipina.

Well summer of 2010 is almost over and I can’t wait for the rain to come and swim in the moon but please don’t give us another Ondoy Mr. Fickle Weather.

I’m not Human~ Humans don’t go to Space

Tick Tock I barely get enough sleep and here you go my darling Alarm clock ringing on my ear. Everyday I set two alarms just to make sure that I’ll be awake on time, sometimes I succeed but more than half of my life time I fail hahaha!

The down side of not getting enough sleep is now taking over me. Today I have to endure this excruciating report. Numbers are flashing all over my non comprehensive brain. I hate numbers I told myself but then again as I was analyzing this oh so beautiful report I realized that it’s not really difficult I was telling myself “how can you be so dumb when you are using excel to calculate and do all the math for your lame brain, all you gotta do is remember all those effin formula” but I can’t my brain just won’t process. I resort to searching and retrieving my old reports to help me remember those formula, function and what not. Haist I’m not really good at this.

I also gathered my people to give them my two cents on how they should handle their performance and to voice out some of the conditions I have set for them. BUT I was stuttering my tongue was arguing with my brain as to what words to use to properly express myself. But Ms. Luna brain was busy spacing out, hitch hiking somewhere between Mars and Venus and would not cooperate. Although I gave a very fine speech and was able to send my message across, I know that is not the best of me. What to do???

So I went to my friendly ministop to get myself a cup of coffee, my third coffee since I arrived in the office three hours passed. Nope coffee doesn’t work anymore. I’m not sleepy, not even sluggish, my eyes are not even heavy but I was spacing out real bad. I would stare into space for few second and flashes of thoughts would come to me, things that I have to do for the day and things that I have to remember but as soon as I’m back I can’t recall those things. This is frustrating. Am I getting nuts? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

I need to get some sleep at least 6-8 hours everyday. I have to remind myself that I am human. And as a human I need to get some rest, I need to sleep and visit dream land…hmmm no wonder I can’t recall any of my dreams. Dumb I’m not having dreams because well, you know I’m not sleeping…so I’ll just see you in space LOL…

Anyways here are the things that should help you sleep:

• Warm hot milk ~ I’m lactose intolerance so this won’t help LOL
• Listen to soft music ~ I tend to analyze sounds when I hear one, I listen to every words and digest each meaning, I listen to every part of the instruments and hear each part as single melody. So again this wouldn’t help.
• Read books~ once I open a page in a book I can help but continue reading even if my eyes are dropping…books are too interesting to be used as a tool to sleep.
• Count sheep~ I’ve finish counting the sheep in this world and still won’t help. I even counted those who were to be born and I haven’t seen any improvements.
• Drink sleeping pills~ I have a tendency for substance dependence so I stay away from pills.
• Stop drinking coffee~ ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME!
• Stop logging to internet FACEBBOK/BLOG/PROBOARDS/ FORUM/ MICRO BLOGGING ETC.~ will someone send me a time machine to travel back to 1852…I need help to go back to when technology means Transcontinental Railroad and enhancement of bicycles.

Here are the tips I found while lurking in the web:

• FOCUS ON YOUR TOES! ~Ahhh! this has something to do with focus and relaxation lol I though you have to look at your toes while sleeping! Toink!
• Imagine a pendulum in your mind. ~ Hehehe imagine a swinging pendulum in your mind…this is more than the spacing out that I can handle.
• Imagine you are a computer. ~ Hahaha! Imagine yourself as shutting down! NOTE: FOR COMPUTER ADDICTS.
• Use Caffeine to your advantage. ~ This just woo me…taking soda or tea at least 3 hours before sleeping…makes sense right! This contains energy builders that makes our body active for a certain period of time and after it wears off, your system will be tired and will be asking for rest. Hmmm…but you know that I’m a happy bubuli I have certain level of serotonin and dopamine in my body that doesn’t wear off. lolz
• Think of your favorite people ~ oh no! This will make me obsesses to… *GRINS* nope, I won’t do this.

Well anyways I hope to use at least of those…one tip at a time…starting today…I’ll go with the pendulum since I’m already here spacing out! Peace out!

Oh Lately it’s so Quiet

These past few days I’ve been very quiet, not because I have nothing to say or nothing to do it’s because I think I’ve lost my mojo somewhere along the way this month of May. I have a lot of Ideas running through my mind but I just can’t put it in writing…I’ve lost some creativity while this mind was processing a lot of scattered data waiting to be save and run, unfortunately I’ve been getting a lot of failure…hmmm…I wonder who stole my mojo?

Anyways, enough of that, my project 365 is on 8.21% completion….phewy! I have a long way to go! I don’t know what has gotten into me when I started that project hahaha!!! I never thought that this will be difficult. Imagine allotting at least 1-2 hours a day to do the shoot not to mention considering the time of the day. My 29^th day was a struggle since I took that photo at the last hour of the day the lighting condition sucks I have to use my flash which I hate because I usually encounter a lot of limitations in photo manipulation. Darn! that’s a lesson learned. I also have to think of a nice concept everyday on how I can portray whatever emotions or activities I had. Well contrary to all the difficulty I also feel fulfilled since I’ve manage to finish a month and I feel good whenever someone compliment my creation and I know that somehow I have influence some peps to do the project as well, those things gives me a little nice smile.

This month I’ve been pigging out a lot and it’s making me sick. I feel that I have gained a pound or two, my hormones are raging for food and sometimes it’s hard to resist especially when you see the food lining up in front of you. I’ve eaten 8 varieties of cake (recalling and counting how many cakes I have tasted for this month alone makes me feel nauseous *SIGH* now I regret). I’ve been cooking a lot lately for my Flintstone too and seeing them enjoying the food makes me want to sit down and dump food in my mouth which is again a big regret, not that I won’t be cooking for them anymore but this time I will poke my eyes, cover my ears and seal my mouth to avoid temptation.

Oh and my brother is here for a vacation and I really enjoy having him around. He’s someone that I can truly trust and talk with whatever silliness I have. He can ride on my crazy trip like my 365 he even took a couple of my shots. I missed him a lot and our Flintstone is really glad to have him around. He’ll be going back to SG this Friday and he hasn’t even had a drink with us since he’s torturing himself with everyday dental schedule. LOL. By the way that's Jess with him in that photo.

Hmmm what else….I’ve discovered the source of my mojo hahaha (just now) I realized that whenever I write something I "hassss" to listen to a particular music/song over and over again until I’m done writing bwaaaaaaaahaha! Right now I’m listening to “Oh lately it’s so quiet” by OK GO for the Nth time (I’ve lost count) hahaha. Well….inspirations are good right? it’s something that we should keep and play along with. And come to think of it the way I drive my guts out from my head is not as bad as I think (BIG emphasis in the I…in MY opinion ^^v)…at least it’s not harmful! Anyways just incase you guys are curious of the song here’s a couple of stanza (those that I like):

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place, you're not 'round every corner

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place, so darlin' if you’re not here haunting me I’m wondering...

Whose house, are you haunting tonight? Aw. Whose sheets you twist?

Aw. Whose face you kiss? Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

(Oh no) I dont think much about you anymore, you're not on every whisper, oh

(Oh no) I dont think much about you, but if you're not lurking behind every curtain I’m wondering...

Your Shinny Wifey Material

Every little girl dream of wearing a white grandiose gown on their wedding day with their knight and shinning armor walking them to the isle. Along with that dream is a tiny little hope that they can be the perfect wife to their husband.

Oh yeah, although I’m not that so lady like I also dreamt of cooking and cleaning the house with my beautiful apron wrap around my tiny waist, my feather duster in my other hand and my shinny red heels. Yeah, the stereotypical wife that is I have dreamt of.

Ok then, let’s define the Stereotypical “cartoonized” Wife:

• She wakes up early in the morning to cook breakfast with her orange juice and coffee, as she offers it happily to her husband.
• She uses the vacuum cleaner with an outstanding fashion.
• She runs to the grocery with her cart full of treats and minds every details of each product while zooming the back label with her oh’ so darling glasses.
• She who still looks dainty no matter how stressed and tired she is from household chores
• She who wears a beautiful apron wrap around her tiny waist, a feather duster in her hand, a shinny red stiletto while swaying to music on the radio. (That’s me in COSPLAY HAHAHA)
• She cooks the most scrumptious dinner and displays her skills in food presentation beating all 5 star hotels in the metropolis.
• She who’s always prepared for her husband’s boss surprise visit and can converse in a most impressive witty manner
• She who offers the finest tea party to her friends, bake godly cakes and brew her own tea in her expensive china.
• She never loses her posh style for her husband admiration and darn after having 3 kids she still looks hot.
• She whose only concern was decorating their abode with linens and china and she worries about the next theme for their house. “Hmmm..” she wonders “would it be French, Antique, Shabby Chic or Modern/Conventional style or what?” She needs to redecorate at least every year.

In my dreams (once/before/past/long ago/in ancient time) I wanted to be that shinny wifey material but as I grow older I realize that life is not all dandy. Each female species I know is on the race to living a better life so being a wife is just a role they have to portray after 8 hours of work. Then the rest will be focused in earning dough to help their husband support their family so they can live a comfortable and decent life.

I remember attending a cooking class at an early age of about 11 or 12, I was trained how to cook well and I guess I can cook decently, basically anything perhaps. I was trained how to manage house hold, those back stabbing pain you get from waxing the floor (Arrrgh!!! I hate those days when my mother will order me to polish the entire floor using my bare hands). I know how to use the washing machine and flat iron. I know how to sew, I even have a knowledge in using a sewing machine, I sometimes alter my own clothes to make it more fitting.

But do I like doing those things? Cooking? Hmmm, maybe, as long as you won’t let me chop the ingredients and wash the dishes after. Waxing the floor? Yeah in your dreams, I can’t even remember the last time I saw or held a broom. Washing and ironing clothes? Nope baby. Not even folding clothes. I will never be that shinny wifey material. Those are just the cliché of my Imagination and I doubt if any wife can live to that expectation, but we are all good in our own ways I might not be able to perform those duties now since I still have to get a good husband but I’ll try to do it once I found the right man to serve.