Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Back to the Pool

I’m getting older and yes, It’s time and I’m ready!…a friend of mine once told me: “if you want to find the right one for you, girl this is the best time”… ok so I’m going back to the pool huh!? How do I get back? Is there a new trend in finding the one? hehehehe

I went to this oh not so cool and not too dull party (I didn’t even drink a lot) a guy approach me with his glimmering smile…he said “Hi! So you are ____ friend?” I said “yeah hi!” (FUSHU! made me feel like in a high school soiree…hahahaha so old school and yet I feel like an amateur).10, 000 dozen questions followed one after another…where do you work? What do you do for a living? Someone even ask what brand of make-up I use (makes me wonder hmmmmmm…make-up?) and someone even ask me to challenge them like how I usually conduct interviews, to throw questions and evaluate if they will pass and so on and so forth.

Funny because some of them are just irresistibly charming…but I have put my guards up... I have to be more alert and inquisitive. Thing is, guys now days are simply deceiving and because of that I have to work double time (can't afford to have another mistake), bringing out the Nancy Drew in me…

First things first, differentiate the Well from the Rotten… How? Get to know them…


Ask anything that will stir up his intellectual juice, ask him why he took that course in college, ask him the most recent book he had read, ask him what kind of music he listens to, ask him how he view politics and know his social awareness lastly, ask him if he knows the Naiver Stoke equation (Joke, don’t ask him the equation part hahaha! unless you want the man to run away as fast as he could).


You have to know if the person is earning his own dough or if the man is a living scrub. If he asks a lot of questions about what you do for a living and what not, then take the liberty in asking the same series of questions. If he refuses to answer or give you a series of zigzag unsure response like “I can’t divulge that info because I work as an undercover to some UFO agency” then chances are he’s a bomb or his trying to construct his answer to make it more appealing. Does it matter how much he earns? (YES hahaha!) Not really, what matter is how well he takes his job and if he’s happy with it.


Ask about the guy’s religion and beliefs because those are the fundamental recipes of all relationship, whether its friendship, business or love. But be careful not to create too much fuss about the subject, you don’t have to convert the guy into your religion (yet HAHA!), and please that’s not a best topic for debate unless you want to annoy that person.


Ask about his family background. What does his parents do for a living? Ask about his sibling and their relationship. Ask about his mother, guys in reality are all fan of their momma and honestly speaking I would go for a 3rd degree momma’s boy than to know that he despise his mother. Make sure that the guy is someone who value Family. Someone would do things first for his Family before his friends.


Make sure that he is in touch with his emotions, observe how he talk to his friends and how he handle the most crucial situation (this comes on the later part), does he communicate his feelings openly with you, If not, you just got yourself a dry ice, congratulations! But again, not too in touch that he would whimper at the scene of sun rising or sob while watching Titanic.


Does your beau handle situation by weighing things or is he the type of a person who would go for spur-of-the-moment. I personally like guys who are spontaneous but only to a certain degree. There are things that can’t be decided by doing mini-mini-my-nimo or rock-paper-scissor or Coin Tossing. I like a man who would lead me or who would give me the pros and cons or who would give sensible advice in whatever decision I make. I would never go for a guy who can’t handle his own sh*t.


Of course don’t expect that everything will be magic, like everything is coincidently a gift from heaven and amazingly same for both of you. You don’t want your man’s to like shopping or going to a beauty parlor grooming for a hobby or those other stuff that we normally do. But it will be an advantage to know what he likes and what he enjoy doing. In some of my forgotten relationship I fail to do this because I was too selfish to let my exs enjoy their own lives, I ruined their identity by making them watch teenybopper movie, making them listen to heavy metal because I don’t listen to RnB (only had 1 BF who listen to that by the way), changing his fashion taste because he looks too jologs (tacky) in his shirts and others that I refuse to remember HAHAHA! Let the guy have his own identity and let him enjoy what he likes doing.

OK don’t panic you don’t need to ask those question or know all of those things right at your first meeting or he’ll might think that you’re an alien from another planet studying male species. As you go along, like if he asks for your number and calls you that the time you hit the red button…be careful never ask question that you yourself cannot answer or the table will just tip over your face. Don’t impress guys. It’s a fact that guys are mostly scared of strong woman, so be subtle and at the same time don't change your list/criteria because of some pretty face.

Important note:You have to hear everything from the horse's mouth. Don’t rely on what your/his friends are telling you otherwise you’ll be banging your head on the wall. Oh well, have a merry hunting and May we all be prosperous in this side life.

I believe that everyone was born with someone to guide them. May we all find the hand that fit ours ^^v

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